So yesterday started pretty average... and finished pretty average. One highlight of my day was in Waterstones when I was browsing the biography section and looking for unsuspecting HBs to pounce on. There was this postman whom I noticed because, well, he had all his posty stuff on and I saw, him, and The Game in view. He already had in his hand a book when he was looking up at Strauss'. A cheeky smile came over my face for some reason, and I wondered if he was going to pick it up. Then he did. And he started reading random pages. He seemed quite interested indeed. Me being selfish and all, really wanted him to put it back.
It was rather funny watching him decide if he should get it or not. Then the definitive moment came. And passed. And only I know if there is another soldier joining cupid's army. To be continued...
Just kidding, he put it back. What a shame.
When I got back to my flat I royally passed out. Awoken 4 hours later with an invitation to a party. Which by the way is my preferrable alarm clock. Then once I arrived there, all the party go-ers had dispersed into town, and I followed suit. The sheep that I am.
From there I got wrecked. Fucking manged. And started dancing because it was too loud for me to game anyone with my beautiful voice.
Anyway, now to the reason this post even exists. The coolest number close of my life. It was that part of the night when everyone gets kicked out of the clubs, because we have shitty licensing laws in Britain. We were walking to try and find a bus, as taxis are expensive for us students, and people in general though they are good...actually, pretty damn good the more I think about it. Hold on...they are SOOO fucking good!! This hot chick was walking next to us, and me being both fearless and classy ran up to her, and started delivering kidney jabs in jest. Although I did want to kick the shit out of her. Really. I am like that.
Surprisingly she found it funny. And me funny. Thank fuck for that I say. I can't remember any of the short conversation we had. But it was very short. Two seconds later we were jumping on a bus and I asked her for her number before I would leave her forever and she obliged.
Been speaking to her today, and it seems to be going well. If anything it is nice practice for my phone game. Which to let you in on a secret, is mega shit.
I will keep you updated.
Saturday, 18 November 2006
Thursday, 16 November 2006
Met the WWE Wrestlers
Yesterday began fairly ordinarily when I slept in for work, and when I arrived an hour late there were no worries with my sound excuse:
Ocean "Sorry i'm late, the buses..." Assuming that was enough
Boss "What about the buses?"
Ocean "All the ones scheduled didn't turn up"
Boss "Oh right[with possibly the most condescending facial expression i've ever seen], we've been really busy this morning"
Problem solved. Pure genius.
From there I began my arduous mission of serving what must have ended up to being roughly, thousands of teas and coffees. After gathering cups and saucers of these two guys, this really hot girl - not so hot on closer inspection - came over to me brandishing a camera and a beaming smile, demanding I look at a picture with her, Shawn Michaels and Triple H she got some guy to take.
See when you're serving old people and people who spend their days going round shitty stalls in hotels, drinking cheap extortionate tea and coffee, playing hide and seek in a jail cell seems fun, and i'm not into wrestling, so this was cool.
Turns out the two guys I mentioned were them. I did have the passing thought that those guys weren't your regular fart bags I see so often, as they spoke cool and looked cool in their wrestlemania vests. I basically ignored them when they said something to me as I was clearing shit from the table they were at, and now I was aching to get within proximity of them.
How sad.
Unfortunately I never got to have the awesome conversation I had wished for. Instead I heard some unintelligable blurtings of wrestle thoughts, coming out their big wrestley mouths, situated on their big lubricated wrestling knecks. What a shame.
Apparently though, those guys, and their was about 40 of them, were all boozing like mad til six in the morning. They must really be on the steroids. When being served early in the morning whilst on the binge, one planted a lovely image in a waiter's head: (cue thick american WWE accent)"You should see the gym tomorrow, oh man, it's gona be sweaty" Those guys are so witty.
Also the fire alarm went off about midday. Everybody had to go outside, and Scotland making no exceptions for guests, piled on the piss storm like Atahaulpa taking virgins. It was a satisfying contrast to their exciting exhibitions. Also, the chicks they role and wrestle with are hot.
Ocean "Sorry i'm late, the buses..." Assuming that was enough
Boss "What about the buses?"
Ocean "All the ones scheduled didn't turn up"
Boss "Oh right[with possibly the most condescending facial expression i've ever seen], we've been really busy this morning"
Problem solved. Pure genius.
From there I began my arduous mission of serving what must have ended up to being roughly, thousands of teas and coffees. After gathering cups and saucers of these two guys, this really hot girl - not so hot on closer inspection - came over to me brandishing a camera and a beaming smile, demanding I look at a picture with her, Shawn Michaels and Triple H she got some guy to take.
See when you're serving old people and people who spend their days going round shitty stalls in hotels, drinking cheap extortionate tea and coffee, playing hide and seek in a jail cell seems fun, and i'm not into wrestling, so this was cool.
Turns out the two guys I mentioned were them. I did have the passing thought that those guys weren't your regular fart bags I see so often, as they spoke cool and looked cool in their wrestlemania vests. I basically ignored them when they said something to me as I was clearing shit from the table they were at, and now I was aching to get within proximity of them.
How sad.
Unfortunately I never got to have the awesome conversation I had wished for. Instead I heard some unintelligable blurtings of wrestle thoughts, coming out their big wrestley mouths, situated on their big lubricated wrestling knecks. What a shame.
Apparently though, those guys, and their was about 40 of them, were all boozing like mad til six in the morning. They must really be on the steroids. When being served early in the morning whilst on the binge, one planted a lovely image in a waiter's head: (cue thick american WWE accent)"You should see the gym tomorrow, oh man, it's gona be sweaty" Those guys are so witty.
Also the fire alarm went off about midday. Everybody had to go outside, and Scotland making no exceptions for guests, piled on the piss storm like Atahaulpa taking virgins. It was a satisfying contrast to their exciting exhibitions. Also, the chicks they role and wrestle with are hot.
Tuesday, 14 November 2006
All I Use For Handwriting Analysis In Field
So I thought I'd write a post detailing everything I use for analysing handwriting in field, because I'm such a nice guy and all that (note: it's really just for traffic).
All the books I read on Handwriting Analysis tend to just tell you what this and that means. There are rarely reasons given on why, or psychological experiments proving it. Hence their is a lot of skepticism. But whether you believe it or not, chicks eat it up like junkies given crack.
Spacing: If their spaces between lines and words are regular, they are a well-rounded, balanced, and fairly happy person.
Large spaces between words and lines means they're independent, like isolation, and maybe a slight extrovert.
Small spaces - dependent on others, inability to make decisions, shy.
Size: Large - Confident, happy, perhaps vain.
Medium - A well-rounded person, if there are no other slants or things they are happy.
Small - If they write fast, they are well-educated, intelligent.
Slant: Pointing forwards - Optimistic, driven, ambitious, positive. If it is very forward, they are passionate about what they do.
Backwards - Negative, less-driven. If you want something positive to tell her, try, 'you tend to take a more laid back approach to things' that should do it.
Too big - Egocentric, bit of a megalomaniac, quite selfish.
Speed: Generally speaking fast is positive, and slow is negative.
Pressure: Heavy - These people are decisive, energetic, have healthy aggression... or not, but you're probably not going to say that. Try will power and good health as well with.
Light - Intelligent, generous, easily influenced, often weak libido.
Shape: Rounded - Friendly, sociable, affectionate
Angular - Ambitious, realistic, trust-worthy, hard-working.
There's a lot lot more to this as you might expect, but when sarging you don't really need to know more. Just use the information above as a base to riff off, and go with what feels right.
All the books I read on Handwriting Analysis tend to just tell you what this and that means. There are rarely reasons given on why, or psychological experiments proving it. Hence their is a lot of skepticism. But whether you believe it or not, chicks eat it up like junkies given crack.
Spacing: If their spaces between lines and words are regular, they are a well-rounded, balanced, and fairly happy person.
Large spaces between words and lines means they're independent, like isolation, and maybe a slight extrovert.
Small spaces - dependent on others, inability to make decisions, shy.
Size: Large - Confident, happy, perhaps vain.
Medium - A well-rounded person, if there are no other slants or things they are happy.
Small - If they write fast, they are well-educated, intelligent.
Slant: Pointing forwards - Optimistic, driven, ambitious, positive. If it is very forward, they are passionate about what they do.
Backwards - Negative, less-driven. If you want something positive to tell her, try, 'you tend to take a more laid back approach to things' that should do it.
Too big - Egocentric, bit of a megalomaniac, quite selfish.
Speed: Generally speaking fast is positive, and slow is negative.
Pressure: Heavy - These people are decisive, energetic, have healthy aggression... or not, but you're probably not going to say that. Try will power and good health as well with.
Light - Intelligent, generous, easily influenced, often weak libido.
Shape: Rounded - Friendly, sociable, affectionate
Angular - Ambitious, realistic, trust-worthy, hard-working.
There's a lot lot more to this as you might expect, but when sarging you don't really need to know more. Just use the information above as a base to riff off, and go with what feels right.
So close, yet so far away. Style's seminar
As many of you will know, Neil Strauss is doing a seminar to market his new book: How To Make Money Like A Pornstar. It's this weekend, and I was supposed to be going. I even booked and... oh yes paid for my flight. All £450 I don't have as I am a student. But due to stupid reasons I didn't board my plane this morning. Fucking balls!!
Anyway enough moaning, that's for the weak. To make up for this hunk of shit, I am going sarging like a maniac. Like Emily Pankhurst wanting women's rights; like a pornstar wanting respect from their parents, you get the jist. And to mark my progress I am going to record every set I do and look over it meticulously, studying every last detail. I figured I won't be so pissed if I am having sex on the weekend.
Well, welcome to my blog. Founded out of sheer vexation. Always a good start.
Anyway enough moaning, that's for the weak. To make up for this hunk of shit, I am going sarging like a maniac. Like Emily Pankhurst wanting women's rights; like a pornstar wanting respect from their parents, you get the jist. And to mark my progress I am going to record every set I do and look over it meticulously, studying every last detail. I figured I won't be so pissed if I am having sex on the weekend.
Well, welcome to my blog. Founded out of sheer vexation. Always a good start.
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